You know when people say, “just get some sleep” like it’s that simple? Yeah… okay Brenda, let me just switch off my racing brain like I’m flipping a light switch. If you’ve ever laid in bed staring at the ceiling, calculating how many hours you could sleep if you passed out right this second (spoiler: you won’t), then congrats—you’re in the sleep problems club. Free membership, no perks, and you probably already forgot what feeling “rested” is like.
I’ve had sleep problems since forever. In college, I was that person who’d stay up till 3am watching Friends reruns because “sleep just wasn’t happening anyway.” Then I’d roll into my 8am class with a 32-ounce gas station coffee and a half-asleep stare that probably scared people. Now, as an adult, the patterns have changed but the struggle? Still real.
But here’s the good news: there are ways to tackle common sleep issues without needing to pop pills or drop $800 on a mattress that promises to change your life (spoiler again: it won’t if your brain is still spinning like a hamster on Red Bull).
Let me walk you through the weird, random, actually-helpful stuff I’ve picked up.
1. The “I Can’t Fall Asleep” Disaster
My brain at bedtime:
- “Remember that time you called your 5th grade teacher ‘mom’?”
- “What if you never pay off your student loans?”
- “Should you try bangs?”
Falling asleep is like herding cats. You think you’ve got one thought wrangled, and then three more come sprinting in.
What helped me (eventually):
- Boring rituals. Like, painfully boring. I used to scroll Instagram until my eyes burned. Now I read the driest book on my shelf (tax law? gardening manuals? yes please). Five pages in, and my eyelids are begging for mercy.
- Fake meditation. Not the fancy kind where you float on a cloud. Just me lying there, counting my breaths until I lose track. Usually somewhere around 17, my brain taps out.
- Lighting tricks. I swapped my bright white bulbs for soft yellow ones, and suddenly my room feels like a cozy cave instead of an interrogation room.
Also, hot take: lavender oil actually does something. I used to roll my eyes at that, but now my pillow smells like a spa and I kinda love it.
2. The “I Wake Up at 3AM” Curse
This one’s the worst. You’re finally asleep, dreaming something good (like Zac Efron asking you to be in his band or whatever), and then—boom. Eyes wide open. It’s 3:07am, and your brain decides now is the perfect time to plan your grocery list.
What sorta helps:
- Don’t check the clock. Seriously, it makes everything worse. “Oh cool, only 4 hours until I wake up for work.” Thanks, anxiety.
- The 20-minute rule. If you’re just staring into the void, get up. Stretch, read, doodle. Then try again.
- Caffeine cutoff. This one hurt. I used to drink iced coffee at 4pm like it was no big deal. Turns out, that was the big deal. Cutting it off at 2pm made a huge difference.
Also—funny but not funny—I realized wine was the sneaky culprit. It knocked me out, sure, but I’d wake up at 2 or 3 like clockwork. I swapped it for chamomile tea. Way less sexy, but hey, I sleep better.
3. The “My Body Won’t Shut Down” Problem
Sometimes it’s not even mental. It’s like your body’s bouncing on an invisible trampoline while you’re begging it to chill. I used to lie in bed clenching my jaw, flexing my toes, just buzzing.
Tricks that shocked me:
- Progressive muscle relaxation. Sounds fancy but it’s just tightening one muscle group at a time (like fists), then letting go. By the time you reach your feet, you’re melting into the mattress.
- Stretching like a cat. A quick 5-minute yoga flow before bed does something magical. Plus, it makes me feel like I’m one of those put-together “morning routine” people, even though I’m not.
- Cold feet hack. Stick one foot out from under the blanket. It regulates body temp, and somehow, it works.
4. The “I Oversleep and Still Feel Like Trash” Dilemma
Ever sleep for 10 hours and wake up groggy, like you got hit by a bus? Same. More sleep doesn’t always mean better sleep, which feels like a scam if you ask me.
What helped me was aiming for consistency.
- Same(ish) bedtime. Same(ish) wake-up. Even weekends. (Okay, not always, but I try.)
- Blackout curtains = game changer. The sun can rise without me, thanks.
- No more snooze button Olympics. I used to hit snooze 7 times. Now I put my phone across the room so I have to actually get up.
5. Weird Extras That Surprisingly Work
Here’s the random grab bag of stuff I’ve tried:
- White noise apps. Rain sounds, ocean waves, or—don’t laugh—“cat purring.” Don’t knock it till you try it.
- Weighted blanket. It’s like a giant hug. Expensive? Yeah. Worth it? Also yeah.
- Banana tea. Look it up. You boil a banana (skin and all), drink the water. Sounds gross, tastes… weirdly fine. Knocked me out like NyQuil.
Side Tangent: That One Time I Slept on a Trampoline
Okay, quick story. Back in 8th grade, my cousin dared me to sleep outside on his trampoline overnight. I thought it’d be magical—stars, fresh air, summer vibes. Nope. It was the noisiest night of my life. Dogs barking, mosquitoes dive-bombing my face, and at 2am I rolled half off the thing and landed in the grass. Moral of the story? Romanticized ideas of sleep usually suck in practice. But hey, at least I learned the value of a decent mattress.
Wrapping Up: sleep problems
So yeah, sleep problems are annoying, messy, sometimes even funny in hindsight. But they’re also fixable—or at least manageable. I’m not perfect. I still have nights where I binge-watch TikTok until 1am or stress about stuff that doesn’t matter. But overall? These little tweaks made a big difference.
And if nothing else, remember this: no one ever got their best ideas at 3 in the morning while doom-scrolling Twitter. Close the phone, breathe, stretch, and give your brain a break.
Sweet dreams, my friend. Or at least, better ones.
